9:45 p.m. - 2006-01-16
one week
Well so far so good..Ive been to the gym every work day since last Monday.
Thats 6 days working out, 7 if you count that on Saturday I helped friends move which consisted of going up and down flights of stairs for 3 hours.
21 days makes a habit. Ive got 15 more days until the gym is a habit.
I came home tonight after the gym and found that J had done laundry.
But only socks and underwear and one of his shirts.
The rest of the laundry which would have easily all fit in the washer was on the floor in a pile.
I dont get it. I always do whatever I can fit in the washer and if I cant fit it all I leave out something I know I can live without.
Not him.
Men are silly.
He did however bring me home Godiva chocolates.
Oh thanks Im so glad Im spending an hour at the gym each day.
They are a limited edition of Godiva chocolates called "pop" because basically they have poprocks candy in them.
hmm.
The most disturbing part of the gym is the scale. I stepped on last Monday and I read the biggest number I have ever read. 171.8
A number I hope to never in my life see again. I wish I could pin point where I started to gain weight but to tell you the truth I didnt notice, and it would seem neither did anyone around me, or they were too polite to say "uh..looking a bit chunky" I wish someone would have but it was probably such a slow creep that no one noticed.
Even my mother. Although when I lost some weight before my mother basically had a hysterical fit going on about how great I looked now thatd Id lost some weight.
130 is my goal weight.
40lbs.
Its all these numbers.
I bought weigh watchers bread.
I think the only difference between it and "normal" bread is the size, the slices are rather small.
Im watching what I eat. I leave my bank card and my change at home so Im not tempted to buy something during the day from the store or vending machine.
Im packing my lunch.
Im eating smaller portions.
Im eating more fruits.
Iam doing everything that Im suppose to.
I am indulging in one little thing a day, mostly a piece of chocolate. And last week I did have sushi pizza.
But its all in moderation right?
Im going to start climbing the stairs to work. 7 flights.
I have this photo of me on my fridge and my legs are so toned and slim. It wasnt that long ago. Above it is a photo of me with my girls and altough I do think it is a very pretty picture I look big.
Theres not many photos of me looking as big as Iam. They are promptly shoved to the bottom of a box. I dont throw them out I need the reminder.
Im going to put the worst one on the fridge. I think it might have been our aniversary and I took a photo on auto timer of me and J. Im standing in my "thinnest" pose...a bit on an angle head tilted etc, Im wearing head to toe black. When I saw it I cried.
Do I look like that to the average person? I suppose I do. My camera was the only one brave enough to kick me in the ass. It lets me get away with many wonderful photos but every now and then it gets me at all the wrong angles it laughs and reminds me that its one thing to stand with your arms not touching your sides, your cheeks sucked in and your chin tilted just so, but in real life I cant just walk around like that.
Well I guess I could...if I wanted to be commited.
So I joined a gym. Reread my entire years worth of Shape magazine(I subscribed last year in an attempt to motivate.) I went over the nutrition basics, calorie intake, bmi etc etc.
I have 15 more days to go until its a habit.
All I ask is that J stop bringing home chocolates and wash my work out gear when he does the rest of the laundry.
I dont know why he doesnt as he knows the more weight I lose the more action he'll get.
stupid man.
