8:46 p.m. - 2006-01-07
5 minutes in heaven
I woke up this morning and my left eye was gelled shut yum-my.
I was suppose to go help some friends paint their new house instead.
That didnt happen.
J pulled a bit of a guilt trip on me
since he doesnt have to dj tonight and was all "what do you want to do"
and since what I wanted to do was go paint at friends he got all "wah wah wah" So I said "fine lets go to the giant yarn store, theres some stores you like down there." I didnt need more yarn but with a lack of wanting to do anything else and either doing that or going to a computer store and looking at ipod accesories.
So then J decided to fiddle with the computer and I just got up put my coat on and was about to leave and just go somewhere because I was fed up.
Then he was like 5 minutes.
25 minutes later.
We went out today for a total of 2 hours. Awesome.
He asks what I want to do this evening
I say "why dont we call friends and have some people over and then go to the pub?"
So who did he call? The guys he normally dj's with. There arent any girls for me to talk with.
Awesome.
So it didnt really matter what I wanted to do really did it?
He made this big deal about ME choosing something to do. Im very much of the mind set that is: Unless I have a specific goal in mind I do not really care what I do as long as its not boring.
Obviously by the time we exited the house it was too late to do anything like go to the museum or a gallery. So when we got to the yarn store he said
"Ill meet you in 5 minutes" I was a little put off. I had thought that the object of the game was to do something together. Then he came back and gave me the vibe of "Im bored lets go" so we left before I had perused 3 of the aisles. We went into two other stores very briefly because he wanted to order our dinner before having a pint.
So what did we do that I wanted to do, because IT WAS SO IMPORTANT FOR ME TO CHOOSE WHAT WE WERE DOING? We went to the yarn store for 5 minutes.
I can feel myself withdrawing into myself. Hello winter how you doing?
smile smile smile.
nothing.
What ever.
half the time I think my depression is grown out of sheer boredom.
Im bored.
boring.
bore.
If I had lady friends who lived near I could call them. The ones I do have are preplanners to the gills so there is no spontaneous night of cattiness.
No drunken laugh ups.
Just me being bored.
In other news Im thinking about moving to blogger.com, keeping this my private diary.
Because on that sight you can make some money. It has a higher readership and such.
It would be a bit less personal...more like the entries that everyone leaves notes about how funny Iam.
I dont know.
See I dont know anything right now.
January likes to do that to me.
